Something Worth Living For
by her ocean eyes
Summary: Neverland. Hook and Emma share a moment on the Jolly Roger. Stories are shared and walls are broken down - and Hook suddendly becomes Killian. One-shot. Captain Swan.


_Disclaimer: None of this is mine, not the characters, not the storyline. When it would be Meghan would be on-screen like forever and Emma and Killian would already be canon._

**Something Worth Living For**

The Neverland sky is dark, its stars twinkle and the moon sends a soft bluish light on the almost black sea. The faint sound of crying hangs in the air. Killian holds on to the helm tight, his whole body is tensed. By dawn they will finally reach the island after three days of sailing. The heartbreaking wailing is coming closer and closer by every minute. Besides the wailing and the waves which crash into the ship walls there is no sound. That's why he immediately spins around, his hand already on his hilt, when he hears the planks creak underneath someone's feet. In front of him stands Emma, her arms crossed in front of her chest, goose bumps all over her skin, even though it's not cold at all. When their eyes meet he doesn't ask what she's doing here because he already knows. Sleep is no considerable option for someone who has lost the most important person in his or her world. And she has lost two. He knows that she looks for distraction. For a possibility to get away from all those nightmares which haunt her every time she closes her eyes. For a little bit oblivion in all her pain.

"The rum is already gone," he says and Emma lets out a short half amused, half desperate laugh.

"Why do you know I was looking for rum?" she replies and Killian shrugs.

"Just a feeling," he answers, a bittersweet smile on his lips. Emma tightens the grip around herself and chews on her bottom lip. The pirate cocks his head. "What's bothering you, love?" Her eyes fly up to meet his gaze and she shifts her weight uncomfortably.

"How do you-?" He interrupts her with a small genuine smile.

"Open book, darling," he says softly. "So, shoot."

"How-" She swallows hard. "How did you make it?" she asks, her gaze curious and heartbroken at the same time. He looks at her and cocks his head to the side.

"I didn't." Their eyes meet again and for the first time he lets her see _everything_ all of his hurt, his pain, all the sadness in his eyes and the way she looks back at him tells him that she understands. He leans back, against the wood of the helm, holding it in place. "I lived a sad excuse of a live, driven only by revenge. What would happen when I skinned my crocodile? I had no clue. Probably I would just kill myself. There was nothing to live for me anymore." She reaches out one of her hands but before she can touch him she drops it again, curling it to a fist at her side as if to stop herself from touching him again. He watches her and only looks back at her when he sees her fist tremble ever so slightly.

"So you just live with the pain?" He laughs humorless.

"Do I have another option?" His reply is sharp and she even flinches, but then she just shifts her weight and looks into his eyes fearlessly.

"Does the pain lessen some day?" she asks, her voice steady, but her green eyes, which sometimes seem blue, betray her. He sees the pain in them just like she can see the pain in his eyes.

"Eventually," he says and she takes a step closer. Now she's so close he can feel her body heat radiate from her.

"How long will it take?" He looks deep into her eyes and for a moment there is more than pain between them, there are no barriers left, he sees into her soul and she in his. His piercing blue eyes burn into hers with an intensity that makes her shiver.

"Too long," he finally says. She takes a step back and is about to turn around when his voice slices through the silence between them. "When Baelfire was the father of your son, why weren't you with him?" He watches her as she closes her eyes for a brief moment. He watches the hurt that flickers over her face. And this time it is not the loss that causes the hurt, it is something entirely different.

"It's complicated," she says, her voice suddenly cold and distant. Her walls are up again.

"We have time. But if you don't want to talk you don't have to," he says and she watches his face looking for any sign that he will push her or really let her alone if she doesn't want to. And when she realizes he won't push some of her walls break down again.

"He left me," she says, her voice small and filled with pain.

"Why?" he simply asks.

"So I could fulfill my fate." A humorless laugh accompanies her words.

"And it never occurred to him that he could have helped you through all of this?" Killian asks and Emma shrugs.

"Obviously he thought I was better off alone."

"Nobody is better off alone." The words pass his lips before he can do anything. _You can join us and be a part of something_. After three hundred years of loneliness he finally isn't alone anymore - because of her.

"I know." Again silence falls over the _Jolly Roger_. "He set me up. Let me take the fall for a crime he committed so I couldn't follow him," she finally murmurs in a barely audible voice. Surprised he looks at her from under his eyelashes. When the meaning behind her words reach him he feels hot anger boiling up inside of him.

"When he did this to you, why do you still love him?" he asks, shaking his head in lack of understanding.

"He is my first love. Besides that I never allowed myself to fall in love with anyone else." They fall again. Killian watches the beautiful broken girl right in front of him. She is so much like him and then again she is something entirely else.

"I can't believe he is so much like his father," he says finally and she scowls at him.

"He is no coward!" she growls and he raises both of his eyebrows in disbelief. He doesn't understand why she would even try to defend the coward who betrayed and abandoned her.

"Didn't he run and left you?" he replies with raised voice.

"Yes, he did! But it was so I could fulfill my destiny, so I could be the savior!" she defends Neal, but her voice trembles and he is sure she doesn't believe in her own words.

"He ran because it was the easiest way out, he could have helped you! He _should_ have been there for you, but he left you!" Killian shouts and watches how her eyes fill with unshed tears.

"You think I don't know that?! But apparently he thought I am not worth fighting for!" she yells back at him, her voice breaking. She falls apart right in front of him, sobs escape her throat, fall from her lips, tears stream down her face. He has never seen her that broken, that hurt. _This is a symbol. Of something that once was magical and full of hope, possibility. Now look at it. Dried up, dead, useless. Much like you_. Only now he understands how much those words must have infected her. He had been mad at her, when he told them to her, hurt because she left him back on top of the beanstalk. Only now it all makes sense. So he takes a step forward, places his hand and hook on her shoulders and waits until she looks up at him with tear-dimmed eyes.

"When he really thought that he was bloody blind," he says and she blinks once, twice, then sniffs.

"You really think that?" she asks in a weak voice and he moves his hand to her cheeks and wipes her tears away. He leans back a little bit, bows his head and tilts her chin up with his hook.

"I do, love," he says and actually stumbles a step back as she wraps her arms tightly around him. It takes him a few seconds but then he returns the embrace tentatively.

"Thank you, Hook," she murmurs into the black fabric of his shirt so quietly he almost doesn't catch her words. But when they reach his ears he pushes her an arm length away from him and looks into her green eyes again.

"It's Killian." When she shoots him a questioning look he smiles at her. A genuine, soft smile that he hasn't smiled for forever. "My name. It's Killian."

"Alright, thank you, _Killian_," she says while she tiptoes and wraps her arms around him again, her face pressed into the crook of his neck. A shiver runs down his spine and he buries his face in her hair. They stand there for a very long time, wrapped in each other's arms, holding on to one another.

"_Emma_," he finally murmurs and the blond takes a step back, un-wrapping her arms from him hesitantly, as if she doesn't really want to get away from him. "You should get some sleep now."

"I'm not tired," she replies quickly and a smirk appears on his lips. Emma glances up at him suspiciously.

"We could still spend the rest of the night in my cabin, if you take my meaning," he smirks and she rolls her eyes at him, stepping out of his embrace completely, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

"Shut up," she says, a smile playing upon her lips.

"You should really try to get some sleep, we will reach Neverland this morning and I guess you want to explore the island in an instant."

"Do you think we will find him?"

"I have no doubt." She gives him a warm smile before she turns around and walks toward the cabin she shared with her parents and everyone else. He watches her disappearing under deck and when she is gone, he realizes that he doesn't feel lost anymore. He has something to live for. _Her._

**the end**

_**A/N: Those two simply won't leave me alone!**_

_**There is this saying, I think, I don't know the exact wording anymore but it was something along the lines "**__Just because you are broken doesn't mean you are not beautiful__**".**_

_**There are so many broken people in OUaT but I have never seen two broken people matching as perfectly as Killian and Emma do.**_

_**That be said, what do you think about this?**_


End file.
